Dear Dad
by carlotta1924
Summary: Alex comes home to Midvale over the weekend to celebrate Father's Day with her mother and unearths a box of letters she wrote to her dad after he died.
1. Chapter 1

All the characters are wholly owned by the brains behind Supergirl, but I like borrowing them for a little while for some fanfic fun so... enjoy! ^_^

* * *

"What? You won't make it tonight?" Alex asked Kara over her cell late Friday afternoon. The sisters planned to go to Midvale to celebrate Father's Day weekend with their mother. Alex was just about to leave for Kara's loft to pick her up when Kara called.

Kara sighed. "Yeah. Ms. Grant suddenly had an event to attend in Metropolis tomorrow in which I have to go along with her or else. I mean, really, who wants to work on Saturdays, right? But don't worry, I promise I'll be in Midvale on Sunday morning."

"We'll expect that," Alex said, tossing a duffel bag in the trunk of her car. "You'll be flying in, of course."

"How else will I get there?"

Alex rolled her eyes in amusement. "Okay then, see you Sunday."

The drive to Midvale was a long one, and it was well into the night when Alex arrived at her mom's house. Eliza had stayed awake just long enough to hug and kiss her daughter good night before she went to bed herself.

Tired from her trip, Alex went straight to her room as well and dropped her bags on the floor. She changed into a tank top and shorts before getting to bed. Alex gazed around the room she had shared with Kara.

She felt strange being back in her childhood bedroom, lying in her bed surrounded by her old books and stuffed toys that Eliza allowed her to keep. Being the successful bioengineer and kickass DEO operative that she is now, it was somewhat hard to reconcile the fact that she was once a kid who read fairy tales and loved playing with stuffed animals.

Then, going along with an idea that just popped into her head, Alex got up and padded over to her desk.

Alex's hands moved along the well-worn wood, thinking about the hundreds of homework that she had done there, and how many letters that she had written to friends and boyfriends alike. Alex laughed softly as her fingers grazed the heart she had etched on one side of the desk when she was thirteen. Inside the heart were her and her friend Rick's initials, and the word Forever was etched under it. Alex just shook her head as she remembered the good times she'd had with Rick. It's too bad she lost contact with him after graduating from high school.

Now energised, Alex opened a drawer in the desk to look for other mementos of the past. She smiled as she found a trinket that Kara gave her and a dusty old picture of herself at age seven eating a huge ice cream cone. She then dug in the drawer a little further and unearthed a rusty-looking skeleton key.

Alex's eyebrows furrowed at the sight of the key. She had almost forgotten that this key ever existed, ever since she used it to lock the...

As more long-forgotten memories resurfaced, Alex rushed to her closet and opened another drawer to reveal a small wooden chest. With shaking fingers, Alex managed to open its lock using the key. Her heart constricted when she lifted the cover and saw the small bundle of letters she had written to her father ever since he died. She brought the chest with her to her bed and took out the letters as she sat back on her pillows.

Writing to Jeremiah helped Alex a lot in managing her grief even if she knew her father won't be able to read them. But now with the knowledge that he is still alive after all these years, she has a newfound hope that her family will be reunited once more. She might even give the letters to Jeremiah for him to read and catch up with her life somehow.

Alex wrote her father when she experienced bouts of loneliness, on ordinary and significant days alike. The letters were written in the same way, with the date, day, and time heading each. They were also arranged in chronological order so Alex found the first one easily, which was written right after she got the news that her father died in a plane crash. Alex unfolded it with trembling hands.

It was almost unreadable because there were several blotches on the paper where Alex's tears fell when she wrote it. It was only one page, but it was a page that was filled with all the grief of a fifteen-year-old girl.

 _March 21_

 _Tuesday_

 _4:00PM_

 _Dear Dad,_

 _I am now here in my room writing this letter to you. I don't understand why you have to die and leave us. Why did the plane crash? Did the pilot do whatever he could so it won't crash? While I know you're in a better place now, nothing will change the fact that you're not with us anymore. It hurts, Dad, it really does._

 _I never imagined that you would be gone so soon. I never knew that the day you told me you had to leave home for your job would be the last time that I would see you alive. If I did, I would have hugged you longer than I had._

 _Or better yet, I should have told Mom not to let you go. Ever. Because we still need you. Dad, **I** still need you. Who is going to dance with me on my Sweet Sixteen now? Who is going to embarrass me and make my life miserable by threatening the boys who would want to go out with me? Who will stand by my side when I graduate from high school and college with honours? Who will walk me down the aisle someday? My heart hurts at the fact that I will never get to share these moments with you. I'll grow up and see all my friends doing all these with their dads, but not me. _

_Dad, I will miss all those times when you would take Mom, Kara, and I out for bowling nights. I suck at the game but you had the most patience in teaching me. Mom doesn't have it at all, and I don't think she'll take us bowling anymore anyway._

 _I will also miss those moments when you would give me a back rub when I wake up from a nightmare. I think it's funny that you're the only Dad I know who wakes up his kids for school with back rubs. No one would do that now and I'll just have to rely on my alarm clock which totally sucks._

 _Also Dad, I'll especially, especially miss the nights when we would go stargazing on the roof or at the beach and you would point out to me the constellations in the night sky, because those are the times when I feel closest to you. It's like it's our special moment together and nobody, not even Mom and Kara, could ever share it with us._

 _I miss everything about you already. I don't think I will ever stop missing you._

 _I love you forever._

 _Alex_

Exhaling deeply, Alex folded the first letter and started on the second one. This one is shorter and was written just after the memorial service the family had for Jeremiah.

 _March 25_

 _Saturday_

 _4:30PM_

 _Dear Dad,_

 _We just came home from your memorial service. Mom is holding up quite well. I'm worried about Kara, though. She's been quiet all throughout and hasn't spoken until now. And you know what, Dad? A lot of people came and paid their respects even if you weren't there. I heard some of them talking. You were well loved, Dad. Just as I love you. I will always love you, Dad, even if you're not here with us anymore._

 _But I still cannot believe that you are gone from us forever._

 _I love you._

 _Alex_

Alex wiped at tears she didn't know had already started to slide down her cheeks. Reading the letters was like reliving those bad memories all over again. She felt her heart being crushed that she had to clutch at her chest to ease the hurt she felt.

"Oh, Dad," Alex sniffled. "How I wish I'd known sooner that you're still alive so I did not have to feel this pain." She gently folded the second letter and placed it on top of the bundle. Alex was now emotionally drained in addition to her exhaustion from the long drive that she decided to read the other letters tomorrow. There will be plenty of time for it. For now, she would get a good night's rest.

Alex crawled under the duvet, and hugging her pillow close, she fell into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

"Good morning sweetheart, did you rest well last night?" Eliza asked Alex as she came down the stairs.

Despite the physical and emotional strain she'd had the previous night, Alex woke up the next morning refreshed. "Yes, Mom," she answered, yawning. She looked at the breakfast that Eliza prepared. "Wow, banana pancakes with whipped cream and chocolate syrup?"

"And hot chocolate with tiny marshmallows, all your favourites!" Eliza added. She beamed at her daughter, who looked incredulous.

"This is great. Thanks!" Alex immediately took her seat and dug into her pancakes.

While eating, Eliza asked Alex what she wanted to do. Alex hesitated before answering. What she really wanted to do was to read the rest of the letters, but Eliza looked like she wanted to spend some time with her so she grabbed the chance.

"Okay, Mom. How about we go, um, bowling?"

"Bowling?" Eliza echoed.

"Yup. We could do that, just like we did with Dad before," Alex said, already warming up to the idea. "That's why we're having this Father's Day weekend together, right? Think of this as a practice run for when Dad comes back. Come on, Mom, it'll be fun. And this time I'm going to beat you."

Eliza scoffed before she could stop herself. "Ha! That would be the day. I never lost my touch in bowling."

"Prove it, Mom," Alex said between mouthfuls of pancake.

"You bet I will, kiddo."

As it turns out, the bowling alley doesn't open until noon, so Alex had the rest of the morning to herself before she and her mother went out. Alex went back to her room to get her precious box of letters. She settled comfortably on the window seat before unfolding the third letter.

 _March 28_

 _Tuesday_

 _5:15PM_

 _Dear Dad,_

 _It has been a week since we learned that you were gone. The pain is just here in my heart and it seems like it has no plans of leaving. I find myself crying all of a sudden whenever I think of you and how I will never see you and hear your voice again. Oh no, here I go again. Dad, how can one make this pain go away? How long will it be until I stop missing you so much?_

 _Okay, change topic because I don't want Kara to hear me crying. We are in our room and Kara's just lying on her bed reading Nancy Drew._

 _Kara and I did not want to attend school today but Mom made us go. She said we have to go back to our normal lives slowly but surely, and for us, going back to school is the first step. I don't think life will ever be normal for us again. Kara got into her first fight today and got into detention. Mom picked us up after school. When we got home, Mom scolded me for not looking after Kara like I should. How would I know that she would get into a fight? It happened in her Math class when her doofus of a classmate threw spitballs at her nonstop. Who wouldn't get mad at that, right? I know I would. But Mom being Mom, the whole thing is all my fault._

 _I don't know, Dad. I am trying my best to protect and teach Kara about life here but somehow I feel that it is not enough. At least that's what I get from Mom. It makes me mad sometimes. I don't even have you now to defend me. How I wish you're still here._

 _Okay Dad, I have to go. Mom is calling and I don't want her to be mad at me again._

 _I love you to the moon and back._

 _Alex_

Alex smiled to herself. _Mom's not mad at me anymore_ , she thought. _That's all that matters_. She went on to the next letter.

 _April 1_

 _Saturday_

 _7:30PM_

 _Dear Dad,_

 _Nobody had a good day today. Mom just stayed in your room crying the whole day. She locked Kara and I out of the room but I know because I could hear her. I tried to get her to eat something but until now the lunch I put by the door is still untouched. I will have to put it back in the kitchen, maybe just throw it away like her breakfast._

 _Kara seems doing worse than Mom though. She woke up at midnight screaming from her nth nightmare. For some reason she's been having them since your memorial service. Mom and I asked her what her nightmares were about, yet she would not tell us anything. I think she's remembering the time she left Krypton, when her parents died. I can only imagine how hard it must be for her to lose them, only to lose another one after only a short time._

 _Kara tries to maintain a happy exterior but I know better. What I do not know, Dad, is how to comfort her. I would like to make things easier for her just like what you and Mom asked of me when she first arrived here. I've taken her to a picnic at the beach with my friends yesterday. I also give her back rubs just like you did for me and it helps her a bit. She would calm down and go right back to sleep._

 _Because of that, though, I am the one who loses sleep so I get annoyed with her sometimes. I just don't show it because I don't want to see her look so hurt. She's been through a lot already._

 _And Dad, to be honest, I'm also having a hard time grieving. I feel like I'm being pulled in two different directions, like I have to be strong for Mom and especially Kara, but I also still cry at the most random times because I miss you so much. I wanted to lock myself in the bathroom too and just be sad even for a while._

 _However, seeing Mom and Kara so depressed today makes me think that I don't have the right to be sad myself. I mean, Mom just lost the love of her life, and Kara another parent. Those must be heavier than what I am feeling. It's as if I am only sad because someone took my favourite toy away from me. But that's not true. I lost my dad too. My Dad who did nothing but to love me and Kara and Mom. Can't I be allowed to be sad? I know I should talk to Mom about this but I'm afraid she'll get mad at me again._

 _I'm sorry for being sad. It's just that we miss you a lot._

 _I love you and I miss you so much._

 _Alex_

The older Danvers girl sighed as she leaned back against the window. She remembered that day clearly as if it were yesterday. Nobody had really done anything much; they just sat around and moped practically all day. Eliza's sobs could be heard behind the locked door and Kara tried to be cheery but tears leaked from her eyes anyway.

As for Alex, she tried really hard to have a normal day as possible and be strong for her Mom and Kara. But after writing the letter, she eventually broke down and did have her time alone in the bathroom. She forgot to lock the door though so Kara was able to come in after a while and sat down beside her. Kara did not say anything then; rather, she simply held Alex's hand as she cried.

That very moment, Alex learned that Kara's innate kindness shines through even if she is going through a difficult time. Her foster sister had just shown her that it is possible to comfort someone else without question or thought to herself no matter how low the circumstances.

It was there that Alex had come to really and truly appreciate Kara's presence in her life as well as Kara being her sister. In addition, the desire to really look out for her now came from her heart and not just because she was asked by her parents to. She couldn't imagine how she'd lived for fourteen years before Kara came to her family.

Alex's reverie was interrupted by Eliza, who was coming up the stairs.

"Sweetie?"

Alex hurriedly folded the letter and returned it inside the box. She hid the box behind some throw pillows before peeking out her door. "Yes, Mom?"'

"We're leaving soon. I want an early start so we can go home before evening."

"Signs of aging." Alex replied cheekily.

Eliza pierced her daughter with the look. "Well, you look more tired than I am," she shot back. "See you down in half an hour?"

"Sure thing."

* * *

"Strike!" Eliza crowed in triumph as her ball struck down all ten pins at the very last frame. "One-sixty, Alex! Ah, I can taste that cheeseburger now!"

Alex glared at her own dismal score of seventy-five. The glaring red number on the screen seemed to taunt her. For an excellent sharpshooter of criminals and aliens alike, she has miserable aim when it comes to bowling. "Mom, we just had lunch before playing," she pointed out.

"Oh, I know that," Eliza replied breezily. 'But you just lost four games, honey, and the loser buys up. Your Dad's rules. Guess who always buys."

Alex burst out laughing. "No wonder Dad always looks annoyed after playing. He has never been able to beat you, has he?"

"Never," Eliza answered, then backtracked, "Okay, maybe once or twice. But that's it."

"Oh, all right," Alex sighed. "Let me just get these shoes to the counter then we'll have those cheeseburgers."

"Don't forget the fries and rootbeer float, sweetheart."

* * *

More letters coming up in the next chapter.

To be continued :)


	2. Chapter 2

_April 5_

 _Wednesday_

 _12:30PM_

 _Dear Dad,_

 _I'm now in the library writing this. I don't feel like having lunch today although I did have a few bites of pizza in the cafeteria. As usual it doesn't taste good but it's better than eating nothing, right? The reason why I bought lunch is because Mom forgot to make some. It's okay, she has enough on her mind lately and I don't want to be a burden to her. She's back at work also so that keeps her mind off her grief. I know because school helps me in the same way too. Mom's right, going to school is the first step back to having a normal life again. At least as normal as it gets._

 _You know what, Dad? I dreamed about you the other night. I was on the roof at night staring at the sky when you suddenly appeared beside me. I should be scared, but I wasn't. I hugged you for the longest time and I didn't want to let you go. You hugged me back so tight and told me that you were proud of me and that I will do well even if you're not with us anymore. I remember I had a lot of questions for you but you did not answer them, and that you had to go. I begged you not to leave but you did. Then I woke up with a very wet pillow pressed on my cheek._

 _For some reason I suddenly wanted Mom so I crept to your room and crawled into bed beside her. She asked me what the matter was so I told her about my dream. I was crying again by the time I finished and Mom just hugged me until I fell asleep. I know I'm being such a big baby but I couldn't help it. One nice thing about it is that I've never felt closer to Mom until that time. I love Mom so much._

 _Okay, enough about me. Remember when I told you Kara had nightmares just after you passed away? She finally opened up to Mom and me. It wasn't easy for her at first but then everything just poured out from her. I was right that she was dreaming about Krypton when it was destroyed. But Kara being the sunny, optimistic person that she is, ended her sad story with a courageous smile and urged us to do the same when facing ours. She said that having to face life's challenges lets us know that we are still alive, and being alive means having hope that we can get through this. And we can as long as we're together._

 _I am amazed once again at the fact that Kara is looking out for us just like we do for her. I am so thankful that I have her for a sister._

 _Gotta go, the bell just rang._

 _I love you!_

* * *

 _Alex_

 _April 14_

 _Friday_

 _9:30PM_

 _Dear Dad,_

 _Things have taken a turn for the better from the last time I wrote to you. School is more bearable than it was a few weeks ago. Just this week I got an award for my project at the Science fair and As on my English and Social Studies papers. I want you to be proud of me even if you're up there already. Mom was also proud of my achievements that she took Kara and I out for dinner at Le Chateau. The three of us had a great time. Oh, and guess what. Mom let us taste red wine. It's really weird-tasting but I guess I'll learn to like it when I get older._

 _On the home front, I don't get into arguments with Mom and Kara that often, and we don't have that many sad moments either. Sometimes though it seems like if I don't feel sad anymore means that I'm forgetting you. I had a talk with a classmate today who lost her Mom last year. She said that I will never forget you no matter what. There will eventually come a time wherein you may not be always on my mind like you are right now, but some things will happen throughout my life that will suddenly remind me of you. Like I might think, what would you say if I do this or that, what would you do if you're in this situation, or should I get married to this guy or not, that sort of thing._

 _And my classmate said that as cliché as it sounds, the reason why you will never really leave is because you are always in my heart. And you are, Dad. In time I might stop writing to you but for now, I will enjoy this moment because it keeps me connected to you somehow even if I know you cannot read this._

 _Okay, got to continue my homework. I just saw my medal from the Science fair earlier and thought of you._

 _And I love you!_

 _Alex_

* * *

 _April 17_

 _Monday_

 _8:50PM_

 _Daaaaaaaad!_

 _Just wanted to say that you and Mom looked soooooo cute before you guys got married. I was rummaging in Mom's closet for some of her old clothes for a class play when I found a box at the bottom. I really wasn't going to snoop in it, but on the box were large cutout letters that spelled your and Mom's names with lots of sparkly glitter all over it. Sorry Dad, I couldn't help myself so I opened it. The box was full of your photos from way back in college. There were even dates and locations written on the back of almost all the pictures. So cute!_

 _I especially like the pictures of you and Mom on your trip to San Francisco. There's one of you guys at The Palace of Fine Arts and you were making bunny ears on Mom's head. Mom's eyes were crossed. Eww. You looked so young, and your eyes have that light which really shows how much you're in love with each other. I haven't really noticed it growing up but seeing the look in Mom's eyes lately shows how much she still loves and misses you. She must think I don't notice but there are hints of sadness in her eyes._

 _Please forgive me for saying this, but without the pictures it's kind of hard to imagine you and Mom so young. But having seen them now, it's clear that the evidence is all there. Thinner, less wrinkles, weird hairstyles, and sorry, ugly fashion. I had no idea that some budding scientists would care about looks. But there you guys were, you with your sideburns and Mom with her horrible permed hair. And oh, those jackets and sweaters! I'm so sorry to say but fashion wasn't really kind to the eighties._

 _Anyway, Mom caught me sitting on the floor and looking at the rest of the pictures amidst some scattered clothes. I'm just glad that she didn't get angry; she actually kind of winced that I saw her younger self in a huge neon sweater and glittery leg warmers._

 _Because of this I think I should also get a box for my letters to you. Something that could be locked with a key. It's kind of hard just leaving the letters inside the desk drawer as there is a risk that anyone might come snooping. I'll die if Mom or Kara ever gets to read these._

 _All my love,_

 _Alex_

 _P.S. I wonder if I should ask Mom if she would like to remarry again. But maybe I won't, she might get offended. Besides it's none of my business. Still, I wonder if you guys have talked about it._

* * *

 _April 21_

 _Friday_

 _5:30AM_

 _Dear Dad,_

 _I couldn't sleep last night knowing that it's been a month today since we learned that you were gone. I finally fell asleep at around one AM but I'm up again now. Kara had to wake me up because according to her, I was talking in my sleep. I must have been dreaming of something but I can't remember what it's about. And now, I sure can't go back to sleep anymore, my mind has become active. I'm afraid I'll fall asleep in class later and get caught. Kara is snoring lightly as of this moment. I can't believe she could fall asleep so easily after a few minutes of waking me and rubbing my back. It is equal parts annoying and comforting. I think I will wake her up so she will experience getting caught sleeping in class today. Do you think I should, Dad?_

 _To be continued._

 _Alex_

 _10:30PM_

 _Dear Dad,_

 _I went ahead and did it. My plan was a success! Victory is mine! Kara was caught sleeping in Math class. Ha! Luckily for her, Mr. Phillips is too kind so she didn't get sent to detention. I don't think she realised my intention when I shook her awake at 5:30 in the morning because she looked so embarrassed when she told me she got caught. It's really mean of me but I admit that I was laughing evilly in my head. Maybe when I feel sorry for her already I will tell her the truth._

 _We're having a small barbecue at the beach tomorrow afternoon in your honour. It will be just a small gathering with Grandpa and Grandma Danvers. I asked them to bring photos of you from when you were a kid. Now that I know what you looked like from college onwards, I think it's time that we get to know your much younger self. Mom so approved of it._

 _Watch out Dad, Kara and I are looking forward to seeing embarrassing pictures of you. Especially me. :))_

 _But embarrassing pictures or not, you do know that I love you, right?_

 _Of course you do. :)_

 _Alex_

 _P.S. Oh-kay, those are two smileys already in one letter. I guess we're on the right track, aren't we, Dad? But it doesn't mean that I don't miss you anymore, because I do. So, so much._

 _P.P.S. three hearts for you which means I love you! (corny and cheesy but so true). I bet by now you see that this is one of our good days._

* * *

 _April 22_

 _Saturday_

 _11:30PM_

 _Dear Dad,_

 _Everyone had just retired to bed. Grandpa and Grandma Danvers decided to stay the night, and are leaving tomorrow after lunch. I still feel quite full from all that I've eaten late this afternoon. The burgers Grandpa made were so delicious. Good thing he saved a patty for me to eat tomorrow._

 _As promised, Grandpa and Grandma brought not one, not two, but THREE of your photo albums! We all had an incredible time looking at your childhood pictures. And yes, laughing at most of them. The picture of you in a cowboy suit and sitting on the mud is a classic. You looked like the creature from the black lagoon but you were laughing so hard. Grandpa told us that he and Grandma took you to a petting zoo and there were free pony rides for children. You weren't sitting long on your pony when you apparently touched the pony's ticklish spot that it bucked and sent you flying into the mud puddle._

 _Grandma became hysterical that it took Grandpa ten minutes to convince her that you were unhurt and apparently enjoyed being hurled from a pony because you shouted "Again, again!" Grandpa must have taken that shot of you at that exact moment. Grandpa also said there were no more pony rides for you that day for the sake of your safety and Grandma's blood pressure. Haha poor Dad. Grandma let us have the picture and it is now hanging on the wall in our living room for everyone to see._

 _Dad, please don't get me started on your baby pictures. On second thought, I already have anyway. Who knew you were even cuter back then? Rosy cheeks, lots of dark hair, and smiling eyes. If I could pinch your chubby cheeks in those baby pictures I would. You were so cute it's unbelievable and I say that with affection. Your baby self also reminds me of those cute trolls I used to collect, you had lots of hair even before you were a year old._

 _Grandpa and Grandma had lots of stories to tell about you that's why we didn't realise that it was already so late. That's all right, I felt like you were with us the whole time. I can imagine you just smiling that tight smile of yours whenever you were put on the hot seat. If that were me I'll be rolling my eyes with abandon. I enjoyed the stories so much though. How is it that I felt more connected to you more than ever through those stories? It's simply wonderful._

 _I'm now on my window seat writing this, and I can't help but notice the pretty scene outside. The full moon is casting a beautiful glow over the sea and through my window. And as it is a clear night, the stars have made an appearance as well. You would have loved this kind of night because you can see all the constellations._

 _Okay Dad, I have to go to sleep myself. I've yawned more times already than I care to count._

 _Good night Dad, I love you._

 _Alex_

* * *

As it was all those years ago, the full moon also cast a soft glow through Alex's window. Alex pulled her duvet up to her chin after she folded the letter and placed it back in the box. Her heart full of love for her dad who was once dead but now is discovered to be still alive, she curled up on the window seat and closed her eyes. Tonight, she will sleep under the stars with fond memories of her dad.


End file.
